SmackDown! Recap 12-21-07

Yeah, yeah I know. I know, me and Groovy are supposed to be doing this stuff together, but oh well. She had Christmas stuff to do tonight. I will be doing this week's SmackDown!, Monday's Raw, and next Friday's SmackDown!, and the Raw a week from Monday, get over it. After the holidays, she will do SmackDown!, I will do Raw, and there will be little change in that, other than the addition of ECW from me, and the Pay-Per-Views when we do them. She will be making this up to me during finals. Now on to the show.

I have no clue what the theme song is seeing as how they didn't play it tonight. So anyway, it starts with Teddy Long pushing Vicky Guerrero out in a wheel chair, I looked away for a second, and BAM they are in the ring. I am seriously curious as to how since there is no wheelchair ramp leading up to it. But anyway, I ignore it and move on. They show a flash back to Armageddon from Sunday night. Edge cheated. He used the Major brothers, Brett and Brian, to be him and get their butts whooped so he could win. Pansy couldn't do it on his own. Pfft.

An annoying sound comes from Ms. General Manager, oh wait that was her voice. Oops. She says something about the love of her life coming to the ring. Edge comes out and all I see is sexy sexy and pyro. Yeah, gimme a break, he may be a pompous jerk, but he's still hot. We find out there is an "official presentation" of the championship belt. Fantastic.

"On be half of the General Manager of SmackDown!, I present to you the World Heavy Weigh Championship." Thanks Teddy for that wonderfully sarcastic presentation. At least I now know that I am not the only one that dislikes Edge.

Edge goes on to say thanks to Teddy Long , the 'Edgeheads" NOT ME!!!!, and the Major Brothers. Out come Brett and Brian Major, yummy. Then they have to totally ruin it by talking. They have decided to go by new names, supposedly their real names. One is now Curt Hawkins, he like mimosas, and the other is now Zack Ryder, he likes to cuddle with his girlfriend. Thanks that information will totally help me later in life.

Edge then talks again and says he wants to thank the love of his life. We see some sappy and disgusting video of him and Vicky Guerrero. Including a shot of him and her standing next to a pole with E+V encircled in a heart carved on it. EWWW, and seriously what are they like 12?

Edge than thanks Batista. And we find out he will be fighting The Animal tonight in the rematch thingy that all former champs get.

Commercial Break, I was hungry, I got pizza

We find out JBL will be leaving SmackDown! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!! I don't like him too much. Oh crap, he's going to Raw, I recap Raw. Ignore the "yay"s. Next is The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh (his manager/translator person) vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle!!!!!!!! I love that little guy.

I couldn't figure out the guy's name so I was googling and missed most of the match, however I did happen to see an accidental tag between Khali and that guy. and then he gets hit with "snow" and water, Horny lands a tad pole splash and wins the match.

Commercial Break still googling, finally figured out his name, and you can read it above, and I know next week I will be covering the greatest moments in wrestling from 2007, HA!

Ric Flair comes out. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, that should cover it. He wishes us all a Merry Christmas, since it may be the last time he can ever say that in a WWE ring. He wants to thank all the superstars for giving him respect. He has been doing this for 35 years, that a LONG time, and that he just wants to prove that he is the best in the business. Vince has made it clear that the next time he loses, he will retire, no matter what. Vince also is making Flair fight HHH in 10 days on the New Year's Monday Night Raw. Flair is honored to fight HHH since he says that he is the gretest wrestler in the business today and that every time a person asks who he would like his last fight to be with, he always says HHH. AWWWWW. He aso says that if he loses, he will have no regrets.

Commercial Break more pizza I was still hungry

Now its Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and MVP vs. Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, and Kane. Wow thats a LOT of weight in that ring.

Commercial Break Verne Troyer is now supporting WoW????? First Captain Kirk, then Mr. T, wow this game is soooooooooooooo not for me.

We come back to the match. I don't care since the only hot one is getting the crap beat out of him. Poor CM Punk. But I did notice Big Daddy V do something that I am gonna call the "Vulcan slap" since he makes the sign of the Vulcan and then slaps the person (wow 2 nerd references in like 3 minutes). Rey Mysterio hits the 619 on Mark Henry and the pins him and wins, not bad for a little guy huh?

Flashback to Armageddon, but its the same one they showed earlier.

Commercial Break Bod Man Fragrance Spary by Body Fantasy X 2 wow they really like that product

Now we finally get to see the date between Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool. They are in some room in a fancy schmancy restaurant. She looks great in the shiny black dress he gave her. Except his granny helped pick it out. He asks her to go to his house for Christmas, and she's like "ummmmm no thanks" He then gets angry at the French waiter for not serving French food, but is informed after his rant that they are in an ITALIAN restaurant. Some how Jean Claude Van Damme got mentioned in the rant. He gives her a Christmas present, Old Spice. NICE, she can smell him whenever she wants. GAG. He than does a "magic" trick where he pulls the table cloth out from under the stuff on the table. All I have to say is OOOOOO FAILURE!!!!!

Commercial Break, family stuff, dunno what happened

Next, Santa Deuce vs. Santa Festus. WOW. I only remember the awesome studded Santa belt Deuce had on, oh and Festus wins.

Commercial Break with the Whopper Freak Out and GUITAR HERO III

JBL finally announces this is his last day of SmackDown! HOORAY!!! OH CRAP nevermind. He claims to be the "best returning athlete ever." He says we pay to see him, but what he doesn't realize, because he's ya know stupid, is the fact that the audience can't here him until they watch the show. HA IN YOUR FACE JBL!!! But now he is moving on to Raw, so he can headline PPVs and win championships. Oh joy.

Commercial Break Herold Pener X 2

Tazz is now filling in for JBL, ah good ol' Tazz.

Championship match. Batista vs. Edge. The Animal vs. The Rated R Superstar. Oh me, oh my what an exciting match. But out come the former Major brothers and Teddy Long, who seems just as happy as a clam, and Vicky Guerrero. She announces it will be a 3 on 1 handicap match. Oh joy.

Commercial Break for Wii and some movie called Cloverfield

BATISTA WINS!!! He pinned one of the major wussies. I don't know which one. Ms. GM says that in order for Batista to REALLY win, he has to pin Edge. Just before the Batista Bomb, he gets hit with a chair and the match is over. There is a DDT onto the chair and another is grabbed. The second chair is handed to Edge, who then preforms a Conchairto on Batista. They are all leaving when Edge pauses and says "By the way, Merry Christmas."

And its over. I will be doing all next week, and the following Monday as previously stated. So since I will see you before hand there is no reason for me to wish you happy holidays yet, but be safe, I know some places are snowy and cold and icy, so be safe until next time.