12-31-07 RAW

Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you all enjoy it. Keep up with the resolutions and whatnot. I will be doing tonight's recap, but Groovy will do Friday. So on to the show.

It starts off with Randy Orton. Fantastic. I despise this man, like a lot. Its all about his "One Man Dynasty" bull crap. The crappy video then says that he is the Greatest Raw Superstar of 2007. OH MY GOSH this is so lame. Then he comes to the ring.

Oh no. He's gonna talk. FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC. He says that 2007 can be summarized in 3 letters: R K O. I thought it was more like five: G-A-G M-E. (For those of you that don't get it, I said gag me.) He began as the legend killer and now he is the one man dynasty, blah blah blah. He promised to be more ruthless and dominant in 2008, and that he will be champion both going into and coming out of (dang, not the closet) 2008. OH GREAT, I really don't care.

JEFF HARDY JEFF HARDY JEFF HARDY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!! Out comes the Number One Contender for the championship at the Royal Rumble. He says to Orton that he can talk all he wants, but right here right now, the talk means nothing. Randy Orton has no momentum. We see a clip of Jeff Hardy pinning Mr. Pompous Jerk. Orton says that Hardy "got lucky in a tag match." Hardy points out that the PROVES he can beat "The One Man Dynasty" and that he has the momentum going into the Royal Rumble. Orton says that nobody ever beat him for the title and that Jeff hardy never will. There is a stare down, Orton attempts an RKO, but Hardy counters and successfully delivers a Twist of Fate. WOOT! (It is now a real word, so xld)

There is a quick recap of Flair's ultimatum.

Commercial Break which reminded me, I STILL haven't seen Jack@$$ 2.5, so I'm gonna go try and register again.

We come back and see Jeff Hardy talking to Matt Hardy. Matt is proud of his little brother, and is glad his appendix is gone since he will never have to have surgery to get his appendix removed again. He announces that he hopes to be medically cleared to fight at the Royal Rumble, and that WHEN, not if, but when, Jeff beats Orton for the title, he would like the first title shot. Jeff says he would be honored to give Matt a title shot.

Now its time for Mr. Kennedy (joy) to fight HBK. We see a bunch of HBK messing up Kennedy's knee, he even took the knee pad off to do further damage. It was at this moment that I realized how smooth Kennedy's legs were, its like he waxes or something.

Commercial Break, I will still point out where they were, but I got my registration stuff and I watched the movie during the commercials and really sucky parts of the show.

We come back and see Kennedy has taken control. He is seriously screwing with HBK's lower back. At one point HBK is upside down in the corner, I like watching this for some reason. Kennedy ends up winning the match, he got what he wanted. He beat Shawn Michaels in 2007.

There is some talking going on backstage between HHH and Todd Grisham. HHH says that losing is not an option and he will beat Flair tonight. Out comes Vince McMahon and William Regal. Oh joy. Vince says that tonight history will be made, HHH vs. The Nature Boy. He asks Regal what will happen if HHH loses. We find out now that if HHH loses, he loses his chance to be in the Royal Rumble match. Not the pay-per-view, but the 15 man over the top match.

Commercial Break

Jillian is singing, so of course I keep the movie going, that is until Ron Simmons decides to interrupt.

Regal and Vince are talking. Vince asks him to show his son Hornswoggle some tough love and fight him in a match. Regal thanks Vince for the opportunity.

There is a Tribute to the Troops recap.

Commercial Break

We come back and find out that the Royal Rumble pay-per-view sold out in under two hours. SWEET!!! There is a short rewind to the first ever Royal Rumble, Hacksaw Jim Duggan won that one.

On to the match. Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Umaga in a Royal Rumble qualifying match. Umaga wins. Aww *sad face*

Vince talks to Flair. He asks if Flair is ready for his match, and to retire when he loses.

There is an Armageddon flashback, which can only mean one thing. JBL is coming out. FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC.

Commercial Break

Out comes JBL. Can I please bash my skull in now? Well ok, hang on. There is a bunch of spiffy confetti and his limo has horns, thats kinda cool, ya know for a red neck. So he stands in the ring. For like 20 minutes. He says nothing and I'm ok with that. Oh crap he's gonna talk. Ok. I will listen I swear. He starts saying stuff about how we all need to mark this as the day JBL returns to RAW. Funny, wasn't he on last week, and like the week before? So those don't count anymore? Well he keeps going on and on and I can't listen so back to the movie.

OH WAIT HERE COMES CHRIS JERICHO WOOT!!!!!!!!!! They fight a lot, and Y2J's butt looks especially nice in those jeans. VERY NICE. It took like 10 refs to pull them apart and keep them apart. It was cool. AND AND AND JBL was bleeding. SWEETNESS!!!!!!

Commercial Break

Chick fight--Melina vs. Mickey James vs. Beth Phoenix for the Woman's title. I don't really care about a cat fight so more movie, but I did see Mickey James has awesome pants. Oh and Beth Phoenix wins.

Commercial Break

Vince and Regal come out to the ring. Fun times, fun times.

It is now time for Regal vs. Hornswoggle. Horny hugs Vince and shakes Regal's hand. Vince keeps talking to Regal and Horny during the match. He ends up telling Regal to hit Horny. Vince gets the brass knuckles from Regal's jacket and tells him to use them on poor little Horny. Regal can't hit him. Horny runs away and Vince slaps Regal. He then says that it was all a test. Regal failed. He didn't want Regal to hit him, he just wanted to see if he WOULD hit him. Regal failed and gets kicked out of the ring.

Commercial Break

JEFF HARDY vs. Santino Marella. Fun. OOOOOO pretty yellow belt today. Jeff is about to win, when Orton comes on the jumbotron thing and says that Jeff will be spending the New Year in the ER since he just kicked Matt where is appendix used to be. OUCH, and thats not all, he then kicks him in the head, Jeff runs to the rescue and consequently loses the match, but oh well, Matt is more important.

Commercial Break

HHH and Flair are talking before their match, HHH wants to know if they will still be friends after the match, awwwwwww. Flair says yes, but HHH won't win, he isn't "the man" yet. HHH says to Flair "You are the man, and I will beat the man."

HHH vs. Flair, in Flair-country. They both had their strong points during the match. however, all seemed hopeless for HHH when Flair got him in the Figure-4 Leg Lock. In the middle of the ring no less. HHH managed to pull them over to the ropes and get the hold broken. HHH hit a Pedigree. He was about to pin Flair when out comes Regal. He pulls Flair to the side of the ring and hits him in the head with brass knuckles. Ric Flair wins on Disqualification. No Royal Rumble for HHH. But Flair gets to continue his career. HHH pulls up Flair and hugs him. See, they are still friends.

Thats my recap. Happy 2008 everyone.